I eat 11 dollar burgers 3 times a day, at least 3 times a week.

IA, I have a dog and a cat, and you csn kiss my ass.

My optic nerves almost snapped I was rolling my eyes so hard. Animal enslavement...

I haven't rolled my eyes this hard in a long time. My optic nerves nearly snapped clean in two. Animal enslavement...

Hath mine eyes rolleth'd any harder... I'd surely have snappeth'd mine optic nerves!

Ahhh my eyes!

@UnicornSomersault: We get it already; you rolled your eyes. Big whoop.

I eat only at $11 burger joints and purposely park so you have to walk at least a block to your destination. Also, I hang OLCC "NO MINORS" signs in bars that totally allow minors.

None of the other trolls even noticed that this writer cut and pasted his own dumb rant about people who have kids and then filled in the blanks making it a piece about dumb pets. It's not at all clear that anyone has ever yelled at this person for not having pets or not having kids. But apparently they feel so attacked that they had to come back around and write basically the same piece about pets. IA, get a clue. Literally nobody gives a fuck about you and your whiny rants.

@Douglas As I now have two glass eyes, rolling them has become quite the feat of mental and physical fortitude. Big whoop indeed!