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Good Afternoon, Portland! I am writing to you from the inside the cold, brutal grip of FedEx tracking—as my whole day has been lived at their vile whims, trying to pick up a package from God's most hated pedestrian area of Portland: the NW Lovejoy shopping district. I hope the news can distract me from this newfound life of impending bodily injury, as I dash nimbly from the vehicular monsters who run these streets. Onward, brave readers!

IN LOCAL NEWS:
• In the midst of lawsuits from three sheriffs, two gun shop owners, and a gun rights group, a federal judge denied an attempt to delay the implementation of voter-approved Measure 114, this morning. News Editor Alex Zielinski explained the update. ANNND then wrote an update on the update! Because, in the following hours, a Harney County judge effectively reversed the ruling of that federal judge. The office of Oregon's Attorney General has requested that the Oregon Supreme Court immediately review the case.

• Speaking of all the hot hot state lawsuits, today Oregon Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum filed an extensive lawsuit against Juul, accusing the e-cigarette company of violating state trade laws. KOIN reports that Juul is accused marketing to minors and calling e-cigarettes a safer smoking option. Furthermore, some Juul advertisements claimed one pod contained the nicotine equivalent of a pack of cigarettes, when studies have shown the pods contain approximately double the amount.

• Staff at New Avenues for Youth, a Portland nonprofit focused on addressing youth homelessness, announced a plan to unionize today. According to a source within the workforce, staff began organizing in May, following a period of high worker turnover. Alex Zielinski has more.

• And now Isabella Garcia brings you the latest on COVID, RSV, mpox, and the flu:

• In this week's Savage Love, Dan offers "slutting advice" to a reader who just got out of a long term, monogamous relationship and who's looking to keep things casual.

IN NATIONAL / INTERNATIONAL NEWS:

• Tonight is the night, dancing free until the morning light—wait, oh a special election night? Well, okay. The Georgia run-off between Senator Raphael Warnock and Herschel Walker comes to a close tonight. The New York Times reports that, so far, voting has unfolded smoothly, with very few lines.

• Today's Trump Schadenfreude Moment: The Associated Press reports that two Trump Organization corporate entities have been found guilty on 17 counts—everything they were charged with—of fraud and other financial crimes. The organization faces fines of up to $1.6 million. IT IS NOT ENOUGH! (It is not enough.) In schadenfreude snacks: Ben Protess of the New York Times breaks down all the ways Trump's empire is SHRINKING.

• Hold your newspeople tight, America. The nation's largest newspaper chain, Gannett, is in the midst of laying off six percent of its staff, which is around 200 people—after just laying off 400 in August. Oregon readers are losing talented reporters at the Statesman Journal, among others.

• While it won't replace "Kermit Is My Boyfriend" as TikTok ditty most frequently sang around my home, "100 Cats In an IKEA" is certainly a new champion of beats to keep moving from bus to train to bus to walk.

@solbeatz 100 cats in an IKEA 🐈🐈🐈 #whatsgonnahappen #100catsinikea #meow #catsoftiktok ♬ 100 Cats (What's gonna happen?) - Jonah Sun