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Good Morning, Portland! And a very merry February fake out to us all. Today's going to be 53 degrees, but rainy! Fake out weather highs of 50 degrees will continue to confuse your vegetable garden into next week, before it potentially snows on Tuesday. That's just how February do. And now how we do—news.

IN LOCAL NEWS:
• Today in battery bois: Some Oregon utilities have been making great strides, gathering renewable energy from wind and solar sources. However—that energy is only available weather permitting. So now battery storage technology needs to catch up, to hold onto the zolts (scientific term, don't worry aboutit) between sunny / windy hours. OPB's Monica Samayoa profiled the problem and some researchers working on solutions.

• It is only inevitable that "Oregon highest price for a large cheese pizza" will become a thing now that this DEEPLY REPUTABLE study from a pizza delivery app no one uses, that never worked for me (bitter? Yes, I am), has released a "study" about the relative cost of US pies. PLEASE NOTE, it's the AVERAGE cost. I know this is a WW cover waiting to happen ("Too Much Dough: 40-year-olds Leaving in Droves—Oregon's Cheese Pizza Corruption!" April 5, 2023), but it's the AVERAGE cost.

• Sometimes newspapers call Dean Sidelinger OREGON'S TOP DOCTOR, or OREGON'S HOTTEST EPIDEMIOLOGIST—but what the state epidemiologist trotted out at a press briefing yesterday is a look everyone will love: The state's respiratory illness numbers are on an “incredibly good” trend (less of them). If cases continue to decline, Oregon might be able to lift its mask restriction for healthcare settings. For the Mercury, Abe Asher reports.

• BEN AFFLECK—MATT DAMON—VIOLA DAVIS—TEAM UP FOR THE BUDDY COMEDY OF THE SPRING. FEATURING MEN YELLING ON PHONES, MEN SLAMMING CHUNKY '80S ERA PHONES, AND VIOLA DAVIS HAVING QUIET, EARNEST STRENGTH. BEN AFFLECK IS SKEPTICAL, MATT DAMON IS EARNEST, AND MICHAEL JORDAN IS PRESUMABLY SOMEWHERE IN AIR: COURTING A LEGEND.

• MORE YELLING! DASH OFF A QUICK NOTE TO THE ONE YOU LURVE—or check for notes from people who lurve you:

• IT IS FRIDAY IN THE MORNING, and you know what that means—tickets going UP. The Mercury's calendar team put together this list of touring bands whose tickets drop today and in the near future. Gary Numan?! Holy shit. Skinny Puppy's final tour?! RAFFI?

IN NATIONAL / INTERNATIONAL NEWS:
• Former Vice President Mike Pence has been subpoenaed by Jack Smith, the special council investigating Donald Trump's potentially illegal attempts to cling to the US presidency after he lost the 2020 election. We don't yet know WHEN Smith has requested Pence's testimony, because Pence's office has declined to confirm the subpoena's existence, but both ABC and the New York Times have evidence THIS IS HAPPENING.

• If you haven't been able to find a ton of available information about that apocalyptic-looking train derailment in Ohio, this may be why:

•😨

• For those now in need of a drink, Widmer Brothers beer is now union beer.

• Again, not having much faith in the common decency of politicians, I am sure this piece about what sound like pretty reasonable accommodations for Senator John Fetterman will bring out the "unfit for office" scoundrels, slinking around broadcast news like villains in a grade school theatrical production—but it's also pretty cool that technology can assist Fetterman and render his insight available to our government.

• QUIET IN THE ORCHESTRA PIT. IT'S TIME FOR HIS SOLO. HAVE A GOOD FRIDAY. DEMAND THE RESPECT YOU DESERVE. 

@bunsoobaby No laughing allowed at the concert #bunsoo #bostonterrier #dogsoftiktok #pianodog ♬ original sound - Bunsoo