To all pharmacy personnel everywhere: STOP YELLING OUT MY NAME AND REASON FOR APPOINTMENT AND MEDICATIONS! Ever heard of HIPA? You do not need to YELL my name to those in the waiting room, confirm my SSN, or medications by shouting at me from across the room! Take out your fucking airpods! (Three of us waiting in there now). You do not need to inform everyone of my reason for being there. (Four in there now). Nor do I want to be let in on the private lives of others waiting. SHUT THE DAMNED DOOR when dealing with people! Would YOU want everyone there to know about YOUR (fill in the blank) HEALTH ISSUES? (Five people now waiting.) You make a big deal about having an appointment, and even though I am 10 minutes early, am still waiting 30 minutes past the appointment time WHILE LAST GUY TO ENTER THE ROOM GOES FIRST!?! I hear you laughing, and joking, and wasting EVERONE’s time while we wait. And wait. And wait — in the tiny, poorly ventilated waiting room. I know that our healthcare system has gone to shit, but you don't need to add to the chaos. FFS grow up!

You seemed so cool and equally goofy. Like most Portlanders, the conversation was about our cats and tattoos and equal number of cattoos. We joked about getting ink together on our first date while both doing our best to convince the other how serious we were about said proposition. It was going to be an amazing date or another complete bust and we'll never know which because I woke up this morning to the dreadful news. For god knows what reason I was banned. (I know, banned from Tinder? I must have been vulgar or disgusting.) I hope not. I don't think I was. Just another idiot in this city trying to fumble their way through dating. I wish I could at least get the message to you 'hey I didn't just unmatch you for no reason, but instead was unwillingly ripped apart like what happens to those lovers in that Baz Lurhman movie. No, not Romeo and Juliet, I was thinking Moulin Rouge.' Crying about this because I'm a pisces.

I'm going nerd out a bit. I dont blog and I'm not on social media anymore so deal with it. There are so many free streaming services these days, I never knew. Why does anyone do comparisons? But, you get to hear all about it. Tubi is by far the best for me. When one movie ends, the next similar one will play. You can't make a Playlist like you can with YouTube but commercials are longer on YouTube which can be skipped. The browsing format is most friendly on Tubi. Ive only watched Crackle and PopcornFlix once or twice, and nothing memorable of note comes to mind. Pluto is pretty good too. You can't turn off the automatic stream that comes on when the link is opened which makes browsing a little challenging. Plex ain't bad. I could like Peacock but I dont know what it is, but there is always buffering, and skipping issues every few seconds. But curious enough, if I'm browsing another tab while Peacock is playing on a different tab, the skipping goes away. Peacock really instigates getting into a subscription. Roku channel is okay. Sometimes there's the skipping issues and there's two links for Roku which i dont understand. Multnomah County Library's Hoopla is pretty dope. Alot of browsing to get lost into here. I dont know why the need for TV. As I'm sure the decline in DVD puchases just as the story goes for music though albums are back. I've also cut back a lot on borrowing DVD from the library. I went on a recent CD binge buy which is very questionable but its the first CDs I've bought in likely a decade because I'll never do digital for music.

Movies are the main thing that can make me feel like im relaxing at home. Not music. Not even practicing music. Reading stopped doing anything long ago. Movies do take alot of my attention span and time too. If I'm not in that headspace, it can take me 4 hours to watch 1 movie. Some movies I watched recently, the plot became so illogical that it could never realistically happen, but I kept watching. Its the movies. It suspends belief and reality but when there's a closed restaurant that would open early for a man by one waitress and the cooks are not even there yet, I fixate on that shit. Its hard to pick the right movie for the mood I'm in. I can spend more time searching for a movie and researching its reviews, actors, and go down that rabbit hole than actually watching a movie. There is much comfort watching reruns of a movie I've liked. Besides, I see new things each time. Besides I'm usually stoned too. They say each movie is three parts, script, filming/acting, and editing. The way a movie gets edited can determine or change the whole tone of a movie. Psst. I just spent the last 4 days at home, never leaving except for a snack run, watching movies. Much like music, I can't take on too many new shows because there are way too many to keep up with so I'll stick with the flicks.

I just talked with a coworker about uptight bartenders. The doors were open. Two other people were at a table. You said we open in 13 minutes and I could take a seat. You'd serve me in 13 min. Understood. I settled in. Took some layers off. Sent a text. Sat at the bar, patiently. I figured out my food choice. After looking at the beer screen, I asked what are the yellow dots for. You said ratings and repeated we open in 6 min. I said I asked about the dots not what time you open. You went on about how you open in 6 min. I wasnt being impatient. I had zero disrespect. I then said, what time do you open again because I dont deserve your shitty attitude. You said something about how you're trying to get ready, polishing down some contraption. I said, I can smell your attitude. You had already poured the 2 patrons beer because the waitress was working the table. Dont get it but whatever but she's smart. I knew I was gonna walk out. Then you came up all apologetic saying you love me. Blah MF blah. I turned on my headphones, laughed and said I dont even hear you. Seriously, when you turn into a tool at the start of your shift, you will miss out on making money. You are the reason bartenders dont get tips. That's what you're working there for you dumb idiot. When I first sat at the bar, the waitress came up before your drama, I wasn't sure what for but I said I'm waiting til 4, respecting your order. But if I was a different gender, I'm sure a different story.

My former boss, the owner of a local pizza place, still has not paid me my last paycheck. It's been 5 months. He thinks he can ignore my letters and emails. Maybe he doesn't know I am a law student. He can't possibly know that I salivate at the idea of the thousands of dollars he will have to pay me as a penalty for being so late. What was a simple $405 (plus tips) due has turned into $4410, thank you Oregon Revised Statute 652.150 and the Fair Labor Standards Act. Bwa ha ha, eat shit and die fucker. I'll see you in court.

Everyday I check the news in suspense of news about some long delayed accountability for well-documented crimes and abuses committed openly and brazenly in public. Of course, it ain’t over til it’s over, but it’s redeeming to at least see the signals and movements heading inch by inch in the right direction again. Portland has been attacked by such a thick fog of corruption and web of lies, that it’s hard to imagine what this city would look like once the sunlight fully disinfects our systems. Call me naive but I’m looking forward to an idealize post-truth and reconciliation future where we can all unite, move forward transparently together, and participate in Portland’s global leadership, showing the world what a city can really do when they set their minds beyond sloganeering and towards honestly and ethically amplifying the best of each other in service not to special or corporate interests but in our opportunity to create a better world for all.

I cannot stand it when I go walking by someone stationary on the street whether they be looking at the phone, smoking a cigarette, or just standing, that almost every single person will stop whatever they were doing, no matter how important to need to watch me walk by. I dont fucking get it. But then again I do. I mean its like the automatic response for their mundane existence. They could be getting a fingerbang or handjob, and still stop to look up to see who i am. It speaks louder volumes to our ADD in society now where noone can fucking focus anymore. But I do feel like I Jenkins when I'm walking up to someone standing aimlessly, waiting for who knows what the fuck, and I'm expecting it, and sure enough they turn a whole 360 to check me out, but then they fucking smile. A nice friendly smile rather than the trivial normal look I always get.

I doff my cap to the mawkish mobs that nightly transformed Stark & Belmont into impassable barricades of burbling sheet metal, with hundreds of idling engines choking the yuletide air and speeding the needful weeding of feckless human squirmers. I bow to our Corporate overlords, whose funny-ugly-sweater-wearing manager-minions kept over-driven-worker hysteria contained with $5 gift cards and break-room sugar cookies, while ticking up profits shoveled into the Beast's gaping maw. Blessings upon the retailers, public servants, and broadcasters that have successfully institutionalized Wham!'s "Last Christmas" as the Sirens' call to conjure among the feeble-pated deep, dark dreams of destruction and End Times purgation. And I present an extra supply of water-based lubricant to family and friends whose false-prophet mewlings of "love" throughout the year are reduced to one orgiastic paroxysm of materialist gluttony and grimaced good nature. Whatever we now believe Christmas to represent within a failing, late-stage capitalist lab experiment, the near-universally holiday is little more than a frenetic, panicked gang bang, compulsed upon unimaginative masses by the Big-Munny Bosses, and slavishly attended by drooling corporate grotesques. Or, maybe I'm just pissed off because (again!) I didn't get my "EZ Bake" kush this year, muthahfuckah.

It's amazing how quickly and easily people simply erase others from their lives these days. We live lives of convenience and anyone who doesn't neatly fit into our convenient lives and preferred narratives about ourselves and the world around us, we can simply ignore and exclude. Pick your preferred reason, they challenge us ethically, they make us feel inadequate, they remind us of past errors, they represent a failure of our systems, the cloths they wear, they don't use the correct language as we define it, or maybe some people just aren't worth your time that could be better spent on phone apps, I'm sure we can come up with plenty of reasons not listed here as well. I mean if they aren't contributing to our social media metrics or providing us with praise or other personal advantages, how valuable a person can they be to the world. Thank goodness for spam calls, otherwise I wouldn't even know my phone was working. It's beyond sickening to live in an anticommunity where no one contacts you unless they want something from you.

Here it is the day after x-mas eve and all I can think about is how our 3rd degree mayor can't even figure out how to properly use an iphone after multiple documented attempts of city staff instructing him exactly how to do it. I think that explains a lot about how our city is dealing with the challenges it faces. I wonder how long it will before the next mass exit of morally-conscious staffers. Besides, I'm sure those text and emails will turn up sooner or later.

You posted a nextdoor post and then also an identical one on Reddit 5 minutes later! So now I know your reddit account! Troll and lol await and yes I am that fucker on Christmas. Bwah haha ha ah!

I didn’t think a nerf gun might need batteries. Some do. Forgetting my wallet the first time I ran the Grocery Outlet was a good thing because the second time while finally paying something made me turn around to see the prettiest face.

With Christmas upon us, I had hopes that we all would be together in love and friendship. Instead, we've been torn apart by the suspicion and personal demons that, I know now, were always there just under the surface. It's stunning how easily someone's life and livelihood can be destroyed when others engage in gossip, half truths, and outright lies. Cutting down easy targets is a common, consequence-free sport today, requiring little conscience or ethical rigor. As a child whenever I passed judgment on others, my mom would often caution me with, "What if you're wrong?" The damage to me is done, and deep. But I would ask that you put more thought and heart into your next opportunity to do real harm to others. With Christmas upon us, I think of you, of us, with love and truly wonderful memories. For that, I am grateful.