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Good Morning, Portland! Leave me and my Baha Men joke be! My schedule has basically been jacked since the coffee tasting where everyone had to share cups. Let's get to the news!

IN LOCAL NEWS:
• The Belmont Goats no longer reside on an empty lot, in Southeast Portland, where a different herd was once hired to clear brush and be adorable. Since 2018, a group of cloven-hoofed caperers known as the Belmont Goats has called North Portland's University Park neighborhood home. And that's where human miscreants set them loose Tuesday morning. To the owners, this is doubtlessly stressful—although also kind of rurally prankish—to whomever let a bunch of goats out of their yard by cutting a fence (and leaving a note, you always leave a note!), it is an intentional act of defiance in retaliation for tents sweeps in the area.

• Well, shit. KOIN snapped up the news that a travel publication called Trips to Discover named Ken’s Artisan Pizza on Southeast 28th one of the top 20 pizza spots in the US... okay. They're just finding out about it, and we should be nice to them.

• In this week's Savage Love, she's into BDSM, but hubby is definitely not. Can this relationship be saved? Dan has some thoughts.

• The great quandary of anyone who loves to tell people about something amazing that they recently discovered:

IN NATIONAL / INTERNATIONAL NEWS:
• At last night's State of the Union address, Republicans groaned for the camera when President Biden mentioned that Republican individuals have proposed sunsetting Social Security and Medicare. Yelling during the State of the Union is nothing new. In 2020, some Democratic members of Congress walked out on former president Donal Trump's SOTU speech. The yelling is a bid for attention, which is fine. As we have it arranged, most of DC politics is attention-based. If you want to give them attention, The Hill has a list of loudmouths. Biden parlayed a lot of the jeers into ad-libbing that he delivered more smoothly than he had been reading a teleprompter.

• Documents released to media, as part of the Tyre Nichols murder investigation, revealed that one of the Memphis police officers at the scene took a photo of Nichols, as he sat propped against a police car, bloodied, dazed, and handcuffed, and sent it to at least five people.

• The Union of Musicians and Allied Workers (UMAW)—who have also pressed those cheap ass motherfuckers at Spotify for increased royalty rates—published a public petition yesterday, calling upon Austin festival SXSW to pay the musicians who perform at the festival better. The petition says SXSW has, “for at least a decade,” offered performing groups $250, solo artists $100, OR—get this—a wristband to attend the festival. Hollywood Reporter has an explained of what can be loosely described as "fuck your exposure, pay up."

• On Lunar New Year's Eve, 26-year-old Brandon Tsay disarmed a mass shooter and saved countless lives inside his family’s Alhambra, CA dance studio. The next morning, reporters appeared outside his house, asking "Can you talk about it? What happened that night?" This LA Times profile explores how gun violence reverberates into and creates chaos in the life of the good guy who stopped a shooter.

• Vice reports that an infinitely-generating AI stand-up—a version of Seinfeld which was trained on classic sitcom episodes—has been banned for 14 days from Twitch, for making transphobic statements during a standup bit.

• And now, the State of the Union for people who listen to podcasts on 1.5x speed (guilty).

@washingtonpost President Biden delivered his second State of the Union address on Tuesday night, and his first since Republicans reclaimed the House in the 2022 election. Here are some key moments … sped up. ⏩ #SOTU #StateOfTheUnion ♬ original sound - We are a newspaper.